Whats it feel like to be a ghost?

May 13, 2009…one of the weirdest days of the year and of the last couple of years to be honest with you. I decided to take my time to post about what happened on this day because I didn’t want to get on here and not really know what I wanted to say about this unfortunate day. Now that I’ve had my time to think about it and put things into perspective I think its time to look back on it.

So here we go, it’s a beautiful Wednesday morning. Must have been mid 50’s in the early hours of the morning and the sun was out. I decided that on this day I would go to Dunkin Donuts and get a coffee. Mmmmmm Medium French Vanilla with cream and sugar usually hits the spot. I get to work thinkning everything is going to be normal walk in, get my water put my lunch in the fridge and start to walk up to the warehouse. As I walk past my bosses office he calls me in. Which isn’t that odd, as we talk about the red sox game from the night before if he’s in the office when I arrive at work. However this time was different. He’s just sitting there and looks at me and hits me with the biggest punch to my stomach that I’ve ever recieved.

“HSHB, we’re gonna have to let you go.” boss

me, in complete shock “oh…oh, ok.”

“Well you know things have been going pretty slow around here.” boss

…at this point my mind is racing and I don’t really care about anything else he really has to say to me. He goes on and says that he’ll pay me through the month (which is nice to know), a crappy consilation prize for one who’s just lost their job.

I eventually walk around the office and say goodbye to the two guys that work with me who I’ve become close too, and then say goodbye to the other boss and walk out the door. I make it home in time to see the K (as she was at my place from the night before) before she headed off to work. She asks what I was doing home, and jokingly I say, “I dunno, felt like taking the day off”. She knew right away that something wasn’t true about that statement and presses even more until I finally just mutter “It’s tough to be at work when you no longer have a job”. That is when it really started to hit me. I dropped to my bed and just laid their staring at the ceiling. I was in no mood to talk and she understood. She said her goodbye and headed off to work. I laid there in my bed for what seemed like hours, my mind racing over all the things in my life that were going to change. What was I going to do about work? Was I going to be able to afford to live in my apt? What about school? Coaching soccer? Going to School? To say that I wasn’t mad at my bosses would be a lie. Yes things were slower than normal, yes this is their business and they can do what they want. But if we’re struggling as a business do you think its wise to take 5 trips already this year in less than five months for pleasure?? I dunno, Me personally I wouldn’t be doing that if my company was in fact “struggling”. But hey like I said its their business, and it was their decision. It hurt a lot because its basically a family business. In the office were the two bosses (father & son), the mom, two of the son’s good friends, the good friend of the father and myself (a good friend of the daughter). Although I shouldn’t be surprised by this as a year and a half ago the bosses had fired their brother in law/uncle for making a couple of comments.

Okay I lost my job big whoop. Many people have lost their jobs in the economy and they’ll get by. I will too. The shock of losing my job is still pretty fresh in my mind. It was something I wasn’t really ready to re-hash. I had gone home to CT for my sis’s confirmation over this past weekend and I couldn’t even tell my family about losing my job because I didn’t want them to worry about me. I didn’t tell any of my friends until I texted PiC and let him know yesterday.

My week plus off has been filled with ups and downs. Wed/Thursday was comprised of mostly laying around in my bed watching movies and being upset. Friday was a travel day and Saturday was a travel day as well. Sunday I don’t know what I did. Monday I went golfing in the morning and then decided I was going to start a cleaning project around my house. Kitchen/bathroom one day, living room yesterday and my room today. When you don’t have a job things can get really boring. I also started reading the third installment of Maximum Ride, which you can find here: Maximum Ride. Saving the World and other Extreme Sports. I started reading that on monday as well and I should be finishing the 400 plus pages of the book today.

On a brighter note K’s dad offered me a summer job being a beer merchandiser, where I would drive around the area of Syracuse and put out beer in stores, and I would set up displays. Decent job, decent pay. I should still be ok with going to night school, and if things go well I might be able to stay through the fall. I guess losing my job has put an emphasis on finishing up school once and for all so I can finally get into teaching.

I took my drug test yesterday and got a physical where I had to lift boxes in my underwear (why I had to be in my underwear for this I have no idea) for the lady DR. Apparently I looked good enough lifting the 40 lb boxes that she said I passed the physical. No I am just waiting on the drug test, which I am assuming I will pass.

Well one chapter of my life has closed and hopefully another will start. Stay tuned.

I hope its gonna make you notice…

Absolutely love this song right now. I probably listen to this song about 10 times a day and the remaining time that I am not listening to it I find myself singing it. Check it out!

Weekend Recap part II

So after reading part one I saw that it was ridiculiously long and I feel bad for those of you who actually spent the time to read it. My hopes for the second part of my recap is too make it much shorter. So short in fact I’m just gonna go to list form:

Sunday:

- Raining out…this lasted pretty much all day. Oh well still pumped to go to the show.

- went to Starbucks, got a coffee which I don’t know how to make and needless to say it was not the best.

- The “bad” coffee forced us to go to dunking donuts so I could pick up another coffee on the way, we also stopped at a bagel shop so we could get bfast and get bagels to sneak into the show.

- got to the show just in time to see The Ataris, play their old music which was awesome.

-after The Ataris is was pretty much dead time for us, as there wasn’t really anyone we cared to see until about 4ish.

- bands we did see that are worth mentioning here. The Sounds and 3oh!3 were the two best bands in my mind. They were both very entertaining and was really worth spending the time at their stage.

- Two bands that I had heard of and never listened to were Valencia and This Providence. They played back to back on a smaller stage. Actually the same stage as Ace Enders. Both of these bands were awesome and tons of fun to listen to. The crowd was really into both of these bands and the whole scene for these bands was great. By far one of the finer moments of the rain soaked Sunday.

- As soon as This Providence finished it was time to head over to the main stage to catch the final two acts of the weekend. Tacking Back Sunday was up first. This was easily the part of the concert that I was looking forward to the most. They are one of my favorite bands, and they just bring back such good memories, especially of UConn and blasting this music at parties and yelling at the top of my lungs with some of my closest friends. PiC being one of those.

- So TBS comes out and absolutely blows everyones mind. I’m not going to try and remember the set list

You know How I Do.

New song: Sink Into Me

Liar

Cute without the E (Cut from the Team)

Set Phasers To Stun

There were a few more songs. But failing during my search for a setlist has frustrated me so I have given up

MakeDamnSure – This was the ender, and during this song Adam (the lead singer) decided he was going to climb up the side of the stage. He managed to get about 60 Ft. up in the air and hang upside down while finishing up the song. It was intense. The crowd went nuts and has to be one of the coolest things I’ve seen @ a concert.

-After TBS No Doubt took the stage. It was their first big show in over five years, as they had played the night before as a tune up for Bamboozle. I was pretty excited to see them as I used to have a little tiny bitsy crush on Gwen Stefani when I was in middle school. I won’t lie I owned the Tragic Kindom album. I thought she was hot and you know what she still is. Anywho, they totally rocked. We didnt stay for the whole set due to the face that we had to drive back to CT and I still had to drive from CT back to Syracuse that night. But we heard I’d say about 3/4 of the set list. We got to hear songs like Spiderwebs, Don’t Speak, Hey Baby and on the way out we heard Just a Girl.

-Over all even though it rained almost all day and into the night on Sunday I had an amazing time at Bamboozle. I think it could have been better if more of my friends had been able to join us and the fact that I didn’t have to do this.

-So with the need of having to save days off for later this year. I decided that it would be a good idea not to take Monday off and just drive back the ‘Cuse as soon I got back to CT. I decided to go right away instead of resting first, because I was afraid that I would fall asleep and then I wouldn’t want to get up when it was time to get on the road. So I finally got back to my car at about 1 a.m. From New Haven CT it is prolly around a 4 and a half hour to 5 hour drive back. I immeaditley got back on the road after the 2 hour drive from NJ to CT and started my journey back. I knew going in that I was going to need at least one energy drink as the NY state thruway is boring and I get tired driving on that in normal circumstances, and this was no normal circumstance.  I had a coffee as we left NJ so I knew that would keep me awake for at least the ride to CT and hopefully a little more. I got about 45 minutes into the trip and decided to make a quick stop grab a snack and two energy drinks. I set up my cds with music that would keep my blood pumping and got back on the road. It was a very interesting drive one where I found myself bouncing up and down and talking to myself. I believe the caffene is the reason for these things. I ended calling my dad at around 4 a.m. knowing hed be up to deliver the papers. I freaked him out because he assumed something was wrong because I was calling him at such and hour. I told him nothing was wrong, but he said I sounded completely wired as I was having trouble slowing myself down to talk. Stupid caffene. Anyways I made it back around to Syracuse around 5:30 a.m. got all unpakced and took a quick shower. By this time it was about 6 and I had to be up at 7. Woke up got another coffee and headed to work.

Needless to say it was an interesting day, and an interesting week as sleeping has been all sorts of fucked up for me.

However even with this week being so out of whack, I wouldn’t take it back as I had one of the coolest experinces of my life.

Just thought I’d take my chances…

So I promised a recap later today and here it is. Just a warning this could be a two parter, I currently have Forgetting Sarah Marshall on in the background and I’ve had a few beers to celebrate Cinco de Mayo.

Quick note before I get into my weekend recap Witty I know you will appreciate this today I for the holiday I wore my Cinco de Mayo t-shirt that I got back with you in high school from Old Navy when the two of us took two ladies up to Holyoke Mall in Mass. I also would like to say thank you for driving that night, as I’m pretty sure I got to make out with the girl I brought. So thanks for that. Anyways, back to the point. I wore that t-shirt and I cant believe I still have it.

OK, the weekend. Ooooohhh the Weekend. Let’s just start off by saying that it was definitely an expierence that I will never forget. Here’s a rundown of what went on…

Friday: I left work early and got on the road. I had gotten in touch with a few of my friends from home and decided that we were gonna hang out. I left plan making up to them as I didn’t really care what we did I was just excited to see them. They decided that bowling and pizza would be the plans, and I was totally down for that I love bowling and I also enjoy pizza, so right there I was pretty excited. We bowled for a few hours and basically just hung out and had a bunch of laughs. In case you wondering (which I know you were) hes a picture of my bowling form:

I know what you are thinking and yes it true…that is an amazing bowling form. I mean just check out the balance and of course the back foot. This awesome bowling form led me to an awesome 124 avg. Side note naturally I chose to use a pink bowling ball, this ball even had a name and it was Jenn.

When bowling was over I went back to my friends J&S house and they offered me a place to stay for the night and of course I took them up on that offer.  I woke up early saturday morning and hit the road.

Saturday: Saturday morning rolls around and like I said I hit the road somewhat early as I was heading to the Dirty Jerz for the weekend to go to Bamboozle Fest (a two day concert). I met up with a good friend of mine from UConn. We’ll call her K. So I drove to New Haven and met her at her place. We then hit up the road and were on our way. The trip down was great. It was the first time we had seen eachother in over a year. So we had tons to catch up on. The ride was going smooth and we were planning on getting there around 12:30 with plans to catch Cartel playing at 1:00. However our plans were thrown off when we hit the great state of NJ and their awesome road ways. Long story short, we got lost had to do some backtracking a few times and ended getting to the Meadowlands around 2ish. Still that left us with about 9 hours of music.

This was my first time in about 7 years that I had been able to go to a show like this.  There were 8 stages in all. with lots of bands playing on each stage. The weather was supposed to be nasty on Saturday, but of course it was around 90 and sunny. Go figure. So I had jeans and and a black Brand New hoodie. Needless to say I spent most of the day sweating a lot. But in the end all the sweat was totally worth it. So this is getting a little long so I’ll just to go to the list of bands we saw…

Forever the Sickest Kids – Only got to see the end of their set but it was cool. I had never heard of them but I will definitely listen to them more.

All Time Low – Another band I did not know to much about, but I was totally into them and again have listened to more of their music sense I’ve gotten back

Gavin Rossdale – Who came out to Machine Head, and ended up playing some old bush favorite such as Everything Zen and Come Down. The set was awesome, he was actually a lot better than I was expecting him to be and I was about 25 ft. from the stage for this set.

New Found Glory – This band is always fun and full of high energy. It has been years sense I’ve seen them play and I regret waiting as long as I did to watch them play. They started out the set with Hit of Miss played some other old classics and also threw in an awesome cover of Kiss Me.

Ace Enders – Ace was one of the highlights of the day for me. He is from the now defunct band The Early November. His set was on a much smaller stage than the two main stages, but he was still awesome. He has an awesome voice. Kinda wished he was allowed to play a little bit longer than he did.

Metro Station & Boys Like Girls – both dissappointments. Didn’t sound good live at all, almost wish I could have gone to see other bands play during their sets.

The Get Up Kids – Oh man was it great to see them. I loved their set, and as Witty knows they played my all time favorite song by them call Mass Pike. It was great. The song has some special meanings among my group of guy/girl friends from back home about by substituting a friends name into the song.

Next up was the special guest of the show…There were rumors floating around all day who it was and one rumor that was persistent was Journey. And sure enough Journey was in fact the special guest band. They were awesome. They played the classics and they absolutely rocked. They sounded amazing and they had probably the biggest pop of the night. Loved that show. I texted just about everyone in my phone saying I was watching them live, making a few people jealous!

After Journey was Third Eye Blind. They were great as well. It was great to see these guys live again. They are putting out a new album this summer so they played a few songs of that album. but mostly it was all old great stuff. Like Graduate, Faster, Never Let You Go. They also played Jumper and did a little jam session during it, and during this jam they broke into Nelly’s Must be the Money which fucking rocked. They closed out the set with Semi-Charmed Life and of course it rocked. Over Journey and Third Eye Blind was the best 2 hours of the night. Rocked my fucking socks off.

After Third Eye Blind was the headliner of the night Fall Out Boy. I was interested in seeing them and I would have to say they were a major disappointment. They didn’t sound great and too make things worse Pete Wentz decided he wanted to preach to the crowd after every damn song. The way I see it is this; if you are going to be on stage for a couple of hours than yeah its cool, talk after songs I get it make a point. However when you are only playing for an hour and 15 minutes I personally believe you’d be better off playing your music and not taking 5 minutes between songs to tell the crowd how fucked up the world is (most likely the crowd already knows how messed up a world we live in), so get off the mic and get on with the music. Oh and they also decided to take a “break” after three songs. Kinda weird. They walked off the stage and there were video screens on stage and they played a studio version of a song and showed pictures of people on the screens. Definitely a weird moment. So needless to say I was disappointed with them.

It’s getting late, and the beers are starting to catch up to me and the lack of sleep from this past weekend, but more on that tomorrow…

Part II tomorrow

Cinco De Mayo!!!

So there will be a much longer update coming later. But I am at work right now and have things to do so a quick hello will have to do.

I’m extremely exhausted and the update will get into why, just gonna make for a long day.

Happy Cinco de Mayo, everyone.

New stuff

So I decided the other day to change the layout of my blog. I felt a need for a change, so I went with a new pic and a completely new layout.

The pic is of the Syracuse Skyline from my favorite location to run in Syracuse The Res also known as the reservoir. The res is about 3/4 of a mile in circumference and has an amazing view of the city. It’s awesome at night when the city is lit up. I love going here to run when the weather is decent or better. Growing up in a small country town and then seeing a view like this just makes me realize how awesome Syracuse might be.

Let me know what you think of the new layout.

For anyone who gets bored and would like a good laugh: J*zz in my Pants

Twitter me that.

Yep I caved. I signed up for Twitter last night. Although I’m not really sure you can consider it caving. I was never against Twitter, just wasnt sure if I had enough interest to do it. Thanks to the PiC, I decided to pull the trigger and sign up. I’ll do my best to keep things updated on there (just like this place). I really hope it works 0ut.

If anyone is interested in following me:

Smooth_RiderCS is the name. Smooth Rider is the title of a DMB song, and has quickly become one of my favorite live songs they band plays. and CS, my initials. So there you have it.

If you don’t expect too much from me…

you might not be let down.

So I’m sitting here at work. My two bosses are out of town again and I love it. It makes my days so much simpler. I get to do all my work at my pace without being harassed every few minutes about stupid things. I’ve been working this same job now for 2 1/2 years and I know what it takes to do my job. The fact that I get asked questions all the time about what I’m doing or if I’m gonna have time to finish this is ridiculous. Once again I know what I’m doing, my job has been the same sense I got here so I think I know how to manage my time to get things done, but I digress.
The point of this journal was not to come on here and talk about my stupid job. I’m sure my loyal readers (which at this point is prolly only Extremely Witty and maybe Thrice but she’s currently traveling) know enough about my job that they don’t care to hear about it anymore. The point was just to come on here and write for a few about.

So here’s what I did want to talk about before I distracted myself…

-I just finished up reading “The summer of ‘49″ (are book titles in quotes or underlined, I’m having trouble remember middle school grammar), it’s a book about baseball from 1949. The book focuses on the Boston Red Sox and New York Yankees. As a sox fan I was extremely interested in this book for a few reasons. One it was about the Sox, but mainly about the Sox from a time peroid that I obviously did not live during. Secondly it was about one of my favorite players Ted Williams (only one of the best hitters of all time). The book was more about the players and managers of the team, then it was about the actual season. I mean the book talked about the season and how the Sox came from 12 games back in June to take a 1 game lead into Yankee Stadium for the final two games of the regular season to sadly lose both games and have the Yankees win the AL East.

I knew the outcome of the book before I started reading it, but as I went along I found myself still rooting for the Red Sox to come back and take down the Yankees. It was like when you watch a movie so many times and you know whats gonna happen, yet while you watch you are still rooting for this bad thing not to happen even though you know it’s gonna happen anyways. What I’m trying to say is that it was a great read and Witty if you get a chance take a look at it. You’d like it. The writer is a Yankee fan.

-After I finished reading that (Tuesday) I started reading Maximum Ride: School’s out forever. Its a series that my sister(16) has turned me onto. This is the second book of what I think is a 5 book series. Don’t quote me on that. It’s about a group of kids who can fly and have other type of powers. Its definitely geared towards a younger audience, but at 25 I am still enjoying it. I hope to finish this book within a few weeks.

-I love reading and its a great escape from normal life for me. I want to start a book collection. I have a few ones already, but I want to have a bookself of books someday, maybe even a wall of books.

-Life is ok, more on this another time. I just wanted to write about those books real quick.

Oh yeah Witty if you read this what time is too early to text you. I know I get to work before you are even awake most days. But usually I get to work and that’s when I think of things I want to say. By the time mid day rolls around I have usually have forgotten what it is I was gonna say and just go with things like “hey sexy pants, how’s Punch a customer in the face for being stupid Thursday (better title still in works) going?” or the simple but classic “oh. hey.”

Meaninglessmetaphors it’s good to have you back, I’ve missed you!

I could save the world…

well not really. But that would be cool if I could.

The reason for the title of this post is that I’m currently watching the first season of heroes and Peter (the main character of the show) just said “I could save the world”. I was struggling to think about what to write about amd them BAM, that line. I don’t know why but I love that line, I love this show.

There isn’t really much going on as of late. Baseball season did officially start and I’m hooked already. I love baseball, I used to play it and I’ve played fantasy baseball sense 2000. Last year I bought the on-line video package on mlb.com it was expensive and I didn’t really get to “watch” the games as much as I would have liked. So this year I decided I would just buy the audio package on mlb.com which was way cheaper and now I can put it on at any time and listen to whats going on. Oh yeah I completely forgot, I didn’t buy this packag because I just love all baseball. I’m a huge Boston Red Sox fan and out here in Central New York, Red Sox broadcasts on tv are few and far between. Because I wouldn’t be able to watch the games every night like I would have been able to in CT, is why I decided to purchase these baseball packages. So now I can listen to any game I want. It’s pretty cool plus when there is day baseball and I’m at work it helps pass the time.

So what have I been up to lately. Well honestly not much. School has been kicking my ass and because of school I missed Witty’s return to the northeast. Something we had both been looking forward too for quite some time. Because I missed him I told him that I would try to make it down this summer after my summer classes end and before soccer and fall classes start. Going to visit him and everyone down there has been something I have wanted to do ever sense they all migrated down there. Lets hope I don’t drop the ball on this one and actually get it done.

Oh yeah I bought two beta fish this weekend. I’ll post a picture so everyone can see them when I get a chance. They are awesome. Naturally they are in separate bowls because you can’t put two beta fish in the same bowl. They just end up fighting.

Hurricane Tina and I had soccer last night and we tied 4-4. We were up 3-0 at halftime so it was a little disappointing to tie. We have a double header and I am looking forward to it.

I did get some bad news yesterday and that is that I will unfortunately have to miss The Boilermaker, check out the page. It’s a 15k run in the middle of July. It’s pretty cool and last year they had somewhere around 15,000 people run it. I’ve done it two years in a row and was looking forward to running in it again but I will not be able to. It turns out that the weekend of the run is the same weekend that there is a reunion with my friends from home that we do every summer. Witty you better make it to this one. You need to be there for one get together, its been to long. But when it comes down to it, I’d take a weekend of hanging out with some of my closest friends who I see 3-4 times a year over a run. Plus there are plenty of other runs I can do in this area.

Well thats all for now. A quick little update has suddenly turned into a paper. Hope you all enjoyed.

I need the smell of summer I need its noises in my ears…

We are getting so close to spring/summer. So close that its killing me. The northeast/central NY crushes me every year. It gives you a few days that are absolutely amazing and it leaves you wanting more only to disappoint the next day. For example this past weekend Saturday was mid 60’s and sunny which was awesome compared to the days that came before it, and then Sunday we got cold rain and the threat of snow. How much does that suck. The weather all week has been shitty and I’m not sure when its supposed to get better.I can’t wait til the weather up here is constantly good. Things just seem so much better when its nicer up here. I get to go running outside without having to bundle up and worry about cold. With the spring come corn on the cob season which is by far the best season as vegetables are concerned. Sorry just a little rant about how I feel about this place.

So I was talking to Witty today about how when I finally finish school I plan on moving away from the northeast. So I really hope I can finish school within the next few years, get my teaching degree and start living my life the way I want.

Not sure what I wanted to write about today, but I figured it had been a while so I would just talk about what ever I think about so here’s a list of the randomness:

- I’ve started reading this book called Summer of \’49, and its about the baseball season of 1949. Mainly focusing on   and Red Sox of that season. I’m about half way through the book and I really enjoy it. Old school baseball is something that I’ve always shown interest in so the gf bought me this book 2 Christmas’ ago. I’m just getting into it now. But thats because I’m making an attempt to get back into reading.

- USA soccer has a World Cup Qualifier tonight against Trinidad and Tobago, I will be watching it. Pretty excited. I want to go to the World Cup next summer. If anyones interested let me know.

- I found the cure to growing older.

- I’m excited for my dinner tonight. Making a chicken and broccoli pizza.

- I seem to be doing well in all my NCAA brackets this year. My dad and I do one every year for his work and we are in first. I’m in second in one I did with my brother and his in laws (winner of this bracket chooses where we all get dinner from and doesn’t pay, second place doesnt have to pay), I’m winning another one I did with the gf and her sister (winner picks an entire nights worth of bars we go to), and I’m in first at my work. Not to shabby.

- I love the Food Network. I could watch it all day (its on in the background right now).

- Been playing soccer weekly now with Hurricane Tina, her fiance sprained his ankle a few weeks ago and will not be able to play for a while, so her team asked if I’d like to join them for this sessions indoor season. We had our first game last night and we won 4-1. I ended up getting the game winning goal with about 5 mins. left. Exciting stuff, I know!

- My roomate has been bothering the hell out of me the past few weeks. Its getting annoying and I’m not sure I want to put up with him for another year. He asked me a while ago if I wanted to live with him again, I said I’d think about it, our lease is up at the end of May. He’s just extremely inconsiderate of others especially me. We live in a small place, so it is hard to not hear what the other is doing, but he blasts the TV in our living room almost at full blast and I can’t even hear the TV I am listening to in my room without blasting it. I don’t really feel like having a whos TV can be louder contest with him, so I’ve asked him to turn the TV down, but he doesn’t seem to get it. This is just one of the many things he does. Maybe I’ll start blogging about all the stupid shit he actually does. So I can fill all my “many” followers in on what its like

- Thrice if you still read this, are you really coming to NY? Thatd be cool.

- and I’m not really sure what else to talk about, a 30 minute meals is about to start. I’m either gonna watch that or go read. We’ll see.

I could lie and say I’ll update this more, but honestly we all know that prolly wont happen. I can tell you I have all intentions of writing in here, I want this to be something that I can actually come to and write. So who knows, maybe this will actually work.